What should I do..?

The thing is..
I want to forget what you did 'cause it hurts, but I also want to remember it so I can learn to not do the same mistake.
I want to forget you 'cause you're an asshole and I hate you, but I can't 'cause deeply in me I know that I only hate you 'cause I love you.
I want to help you, but I can't 'cause I know that now we've got no time to do that..
I want to get to know you better like I should have done before, but I can't 'cause that's impossible.
And...  Every day I wish all that happens in my dreams could happen in real life too, but it won't happen 'cause dreams are the only place you exist now. :c

in our days...

     I've been thinking... People talk so much about anorexy and bulimia but, have they even thought about why it is a problem in odays?? It's obvious!
     I've been watching fashion tv and I've been looking carefully to the publicity in the streets and shops.. And, even I (and I'm skiny!!) thought that I should loose a few pounds!!
     What annoys me is that, watching as carefully as  somebody who's just "watching TV" I looked and I thought they were so hot and was just so jealusy that, for a while, I was thinking I should eat a litlle less, practise a few more sports... I swear for God, almost all the hot chiks in my school are skiny, and many people I know that is "hot" goes to a doctor and the advice is always: " You need to get some extra kilos..." and I can't stop thinking  about getting thiner ...

     If someday I get anoretic, after blaming myself I'll blame all the ideas about body image from the 20th century untill now!!!

I believe...

     I believe that, in life, there's only one thing we must be faithful to, ourselves.
     As a milk publicity says " If I don't like myself, who will?"

A new philosophy of life

     I think I'm so desperate to find my own way to live life that I've come to a point where I even compare life to food! However, what came out of my head was not that a bad idea...
     I'm in that fase of life when you change school, you get "holder", and somehow I feel like I have to change. If I can be happier, Why not??
     In my life there won't be any kind of tofu, seitan or soja. Or it is meat or fish. Or it is yes or no. Friends or simple known. Or you like someone or you deslike that person. The reson? I don't know if you'd notice, but all the " so and so", all the " I kind of like him, but I'm not shour..." and all that "false friends" are the things that most hurt you. All because you don't know how to react! If there's a "NO" you know you just have to move on and acept it, if there's a "YES" you know you have to jump, scream and be happy but, how to react if theres's a "SO AND SO" or "I'M NOT SHOUR... "?????
    Honestly and speaking by heart, I'm tired of suffering and, if I can avoyd it, that's what I'll do. And I think this is the most easy way to start. :)

Philosophical questions (????)

I've been thinking about some questions for the last month, and I can get no clear answer to them. I've proposed them to many of my friends but none of them knew how to answer. These were the questions:

1- It happens to almost every one.. You're looking on the mirror and you're gorgeous but, if you take some photos at the same time you're AWFUL!! :o

     And the question is:           What do other people see when they look at you: the image you see on the mirror,  the image you see on the camara, or something somewhere between both?

One of the answers I've recived was that maybe the most real image of ourselves was the image on the mirror because camaras have different resolutions, the quality depends on stuff like the light, if the photographer is good or not, etc. . However, on the mirror, the image you see is a reflexion and the "camara" are your own eyes (and trust me, it is the best camara you can ever find!).

2- Everybody knows that the psychological image can afect the physical image.
         And the question is:         How far can it go?? How far can you change on the outside because of what you  are on the inside??


One of the answers was that it can change completely everything!!! I've got to be honest, this has already happend to me!

3- We all know that everybody looks different depending on the eyes of who's looking, that everyone likes different things...
        And the question is:           What's your "real image"? Does it even exist? Or is our image variable?


To this one I've no answer.




I don't know how many people come to my blog, maybe none, but please, if you come here and see this, coment! I'm thinking hardly about this and I would like to know what's your opinion. :D

Descovering a new passion: Photography

    This all started 'cause  I've got a friend that loveeees photography. So, when we go anywhere, she always has to bring her camara with her. She stops all the time 'cause "that photo is great!". It's interesting to be with her and observ her when she is focous. So, oneday, I decided "Why just observ?". And, in the field trip after that, I took my camara too. Wow! What I descoverd was just awesome!! You  can have so much fun photographying! I guess it would  be better if I show you some examples of my photos..

Did you like  it?? I've just started now, but I think the photos I take are not that awful... :)

Life instructions

A few time ago I found this image on a friend's Facebook page. I even clicked on "like". It was just great. In resum, it was everything I try to do in my own life.  But that's kind of normal... My mother is one of that persons that has as rules smilying and face the problems. I don't know if it's because of my age or something like that but, most times I'm not like her. Yes, I face my problems and try to solv them, but I never do it smilying all the time. Althought, I've got the perfect notion who's wrong: ME. For my mum, life's not an ocean of roses, not even close. But it's not that bad! Every day she faces everyone with a smile, a nice word and happyness. 'Cause life's only one day. And if we don't enjoy it, noone's going to live it for us and we won't be able to came back to live it again.

So, when I saw this image I remembered of her. 

NEVER FORGET:  HAVE FUN, DO NOT HURT PEOPLE, DO NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT AND STRIVE TO BE HAPPY!! :)



Today is only the prediction of tomorrow

    I never cry, and when I do I try do don't be close to my friends or anybody, and I also try to do it only if I have a relly good reson... But today I couldn't just stop the tears from falling. I woke up sad, tired of  my life, tired of everything I faced with. I was late to school, but I didn't really care... I just needed to be far away from home, from my life, from all those people I'm tired of. In the way to school I tried to put on a nice face so that nobody would have resons to ask me what was going on, but I couldn't... That's one of my "qualities" I most hate, I can't lie 'cause my face always reveals something is wrong. So I went to school and faced all the teachers, all the friends and all the collegues with that face: "something isn't right".
    I listened to the teacher like if I wasn't there.
    After the class was harder... I didn't say a word, I walked with my friends and they spooke, Iwas quietly next to them.. They set on the floor in front of the sun and I set too... And nothing else. Inside of me I said thanks to them to don't ask questions, because I knew I wouldn't have the answer....
    One more class, the same actitude...

    And then the terrible moment.... my best friend was sitting next to me, but she was not fine too, so we were just sitting next to each other... But then she went to the bar and I found my self alone... My breath started to acelarate and I began with some kind of convulsions... And the tears also began to fall.  I have long hair, so I hid my face with it. I don't know how much did it last, but I just couldn't stop. I was sorrounded by people, but I couldn't stop...

    Some of my friends asked me what was  going on, told me to stop, and tried to make me laugh.

    That's when I realesed, I knew the answer... I'de exploded.. That's my kind... explosions when my mind can't handel much more. The motive that made me explod??  A friend. The most important thing to me...

     When she asked me if I'de cry because of her all I could say was : "GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"

The first one

A few time ago I thought I should talk to someone about my self.. But I've always been that kind of person that thinks nobody would understand... so, the best way is to share this with everyone, because I know that somewhere, somehow,someone will understand.